How It Works
You submit the first page of your manuscript, along with a one-page summary of the story and the role your protagonist plays. Tell me why I should follow that hero through that particular journey. Be sure to follow submission guidelines and revise and proof your work carefully before sending. I want to see your best draft, not your first.
If I think I can help, we move on to your first chapter. Within two weeks, you’ll get a thorough critique that focuses on all the key elements of good fiction. I will then read one revision and comment further.
My past students and participants will tell you I am tough. I don’t hand out praise like candy. But I am fair and salute good effort. I’m not here to make your story mine or tell it as I would; just to provide constructive feedback on how you can tell YOUR story better.
What You Get
A substantive review of the story that emerges from your chapter:
- The world of your story: time, place, social circles, professions etc.
- Your hero: what makes them worth hiring or engaging as a sleuth?
- The journey they’re on: is it worth following?
- Is your story grounded in research without being swallowed by it?
- Are other characters real or one-dimensional?
- Does your writing show or tell?
- Does your dialogue reveal character and intent?
- Is the voice/point of view engaging and consistent?
What You Do
- Make each draft your best — revise and proof all work carefully.
- Adhere to deadlines.
- Accept constructive comments in the spirit they are intended,
