How It Works

You submit the first 10,000 words of your manuscript, along with a summary (two pages max) of the story and the role your protagonist plays. Tell me why I should follow that hero through that particular journey. Be sure to revise and proof your work carefully before sending. I want to see your best draft,  not your first.

If I think I can help, you’ll get a thorough critique of the sample and the plot outline that focuses on all the key elements of good fiction. I will then read one revision of each and comment further. Like any good writer, you must adhere to deadlines and accept constructive comments in the spirit they are intended,

My past students and participants will tell you I am tough but fair, and always salute good effort. I’m not here to make your story mine or tell it as I would; just to help you tell YOUR story better.

What You Get

A substantive review of the story that emerges in your sample, and the subsequent events detailed in your outline.

  • The world of your story: time, place, social circles, professions etc.
  • The crime and whether it’s enough for a full-length story.
  • Your hero: what makes them worth hiring or engaging as a sleuth?
  • The journey they’re on: is it worth following?
  • Is your story grounded in research without being swallowed by it?
  • Your antagonists and other characters: real or one-dimensional?
  • Does your writing show things or tell them?
  • Does your dialogue reveal character and intent?
  • Is the plot solid or dependent on coincidence?
  • Is the voice/point of view engaging and consistent?

You’ll also get an edit of the beginning chapters (max: 10,000 words) to help you learn how to revise your own work more sharply.

What You Do

  • Make each draft your best — revise and proof all work carefully.
  • Adhere to deadlines.
  • Accept constructive comments in the spirit they are intended,